Love, Laugh, Listen and Learn
Introduction
The quality of Love, Laughter, Listening and Learning within a family are the key factors in its happiness and success. These four values are the foundation of any happy, healthy family and society.
The family is the most basic and important unit of any society or nation. Without healthy, functioning families, a culture cannot survive.
LOVE
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia
The three words 'I love you' are probably the most powerful words a man can say. The greatest challenge is to put them into practice.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things.
Love is Unconditional. Love is an activity, not simply a feeling.
Research has shown that love has: health, well being, financial and wisdom benefits
The experts who understand what works, have one thing in common. . . they know that couples who succeed have the same problems as couples who fail. . . the difference is in how they deal with their problems when they are not enjoying each other.
Every time you are about to make a decision think: "What would love do now?"
It is the dream of the Fatherhood Foundation to empower you as a father so you can be the greatest father in the world for your children. Love will always be the foundation for that greatness.
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." - Theodore M Hesburgh
"The love we give away is the only love we keep." - Elbert Hubbard
Children on Love
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 5
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8
Woody Allen quoted that 80% of success is showing up.
While merely showing up at home, to work, to an interview, sporting event etc. - won’t guarantee success, it’s certainly a prerequisite.
Children with involved Dads are:
- more ambitious
- less susceptible to peer pressure
- more competent
- more self reliant
- more self confident with adult males and females
(Resource: Centre for Successful Fathering, Inc.)
Without a Father in a child’s life he or she is:
- 32 times more likely to run away
- 5 times more likely to commit suicide
- 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
- 2.5 times more likely to become a teen parent
- 37% more likely to abuse drugs
- twice as likely to live in poverty
- twice as likely to commit a crime
(Resource: DHHS Fatherhood Statistics)
LAUGH
Of all the goals we may pursue in life, love and happiness are the only ones to have worth in themselves; all the others - health, power, money, work, beauty, success - make sense only as means of achieving love and happiness.
"Children learn to smile from their parents." - Shinichi Suzuki
Laughter is vital to successful parenting. Laughter is vital for your children to have fun and for you to keep your sanity.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people and a cheerful heart is good medicine.
Laughter strengthens family relationships and helps keep you and your children in good health.
Parenting can be a serious business, but your children will teach you to laugh again if you allow them to.
Children laugh about 300 to 400 times a day. Adults laugh an average of 12 to 17 times a day. While in the 1930's it was estimated that people laughed approximately 16 to 18 minutes daily, now we are doing well if we manage to laugh for 6 minutes every day.
Scientists estimate that laughing 100 times is equivalent to a 10-minute workout on a rowing machine, or to 15 minutes on a stationary exercise bike. The mere act of laughing exercises the diaphragm, as well as the abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles.
Laughter is the BEST MEDICINE!
Health Benefits of Laughter
- reduce stress
- lower blood pressure
- elevate mood
- boost immune system
- improve brain functioning
- protect the heart
- connect you to others
- foster instant relaxation
- makes you feel good
Mental Health Benefits of Laughter
- Humour enhances our ability to affiliate or connect with others.
- Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
- Humour unites us, especially when we laugh together.
- Laughter heals.
- Laughs and smiles are enjoyed best when shared with others.
- Humour changes behaviour – when we experience humour we talk more, make more eye contact with others, touch others, etc.
- Humour increases energy, and with increased energy we may perform activities that we might otherwise avoid.
- Finally, humour is good for mental health because it makes us feel good!
Good health is one of the many benefits of laughter. Laughter reduces our stress levels by reducing the level of stress hormones, and also helps us cope with serious illnesses.
Learn and tell jokes, get out comedy movies, do things that make you happy and laugh.
"He who has achieved success has worked well, laughed often and loved much." - Elbert Hubbard
"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humour in anything -even poverty-you can survive it." - Bill Cosby
JOKES for a LAUGH
How smart is NASA
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
Make a Million Dollars in a minute
A man trying to understand the nature of God asked him: "God, how long is a million years to you?"
God answered: "A million years is like a minute."
Then the man asked: "God, how much is a million dollars to you?"
And God replied: "A million dollars is like a penny."
Finally, the man asked: "God, could you give me a penny?"
And God said, "In a minute."
Sherlock Holmes Tests Dr Watson deduction capabilities
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute. "Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment.
"Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!
LISTEN
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." - Ralph Nichols
Listening is a learned art form that is rarely practised. When we listen to people we honour them and give weight to their words.
When we listen to our children we show them our love by our deeds and become more compassionate in the process.
Each of us has two ears and one mouth giving us a lesson in the necessary parent ratio of listening to speaking.
To listen to someone is to respect them. What greater honour can we give to our children. Listening is love in action.
Here are some facts about listening:
- All communication is received ... but 70-90% of the data is screened out or altered by the receiver. So what you say is NOT necessarily what the listener gets.
- Listening is incorrectly perceived as not very powerful by most people.
- Rates of speaking to listening: We listen at 1,000 to 1,200 words a minute. We speak at around 300 words a minute. Thus, our minds wander.
- We have a strong cultural tendency to tune out.
Listening is a learned active engagement that is a key factor in successful parenting. We can all become better listeners to improve our relationships.
"Something I wish I could teach parents is to listen to kids rather than ignore or say 'That's nice.' Instead, listen, really listen, to what children have to say." - Holly, age 12
"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you." - Robert Fulghum
LEARN
"Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad."
Learning is the joy of children and the privilege of parents. If we are wise, we will allow our children to teach us how to enjoy the moment, laugh and listen. When we mix this with love, we begin to learn the joys of being a successful parent.
The stage of life during which we learn at the fastest rate is the first ten years.
How to Make Good Things Happen
Your mind interprets everything you think as a positive thought. So if you think, 'I don't want to be poor,' your unconscious mind focuses on the "poor" and, because it doesn't do negatives, the thought becomes 'I want to be poor.' Being poor then becomes the goal in your unconscious mind. That's why stating goals in the positive is so important. In this instance, instead of thinking 'I don't want to be poor,' you'd think "I want to be wealthy."
Always focus on what you want, not what you don't want. The unconscious mind cannot process negatives. If I ask you "Don't think of a Pink Elephant" you will think of a pink elephant. Always give direction for what you want your children to think and do. The common example of saying to children "stop fighting" should reflect a desired positive outcome. "I want the two of you to happily play soccer in the backyard together".
When people expect good things to happen and believe good things will happen, they find that good things happen! Focus on what you want. Stay focused on the positive desired results. Imagine every minute detail of how those positive results will look, feel, hear, taste, smell, as if you have already achieved the positive results. Vividly imagine yourself happy and successful. You are then on your way to achieving the success you deserve and desire!
Your unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined.
Your beliefs are fuelled by your faith in yourself, and by what you tell yourself through: thoughts, images, and feelings. You can enhance and fine tune these beliefs by listening, learning and practicing 'what you think' about and keeping what you find works best for you.
Give positive directions to your children. Clearly tell them what you want them to do, not what you don't want them to do.
Don't say "don't", say "Do this...(redirecting them to an appropriate positive activity)."
How we learn and remember
- The human brain thinks in pictures.
- The human brain learns - and remembers - new information by associating it to something it already knows.
- The human brain remembers wild and outrageous things easier than the mundane.
- The brain needs a trigger. Something needs to initiate the recall.
Making our Brain Learn Better
The brain centres involved in emotions are directly connected to the learning system. When they are activated, they automatically start the teaching circuits (chains of nerve cells). This is why emotional events—our first day of school, the birth of child, a parent's death—become so engraved in our memories.
We can take advantage of this natural learning booster by believing something is important. If we try to learn without feeling interested, very little of that information will be saved in our memories. But if we force ourselves to treat what we're learning as if it were vitally important, our brains will join in, and will trigger our learning circuits.
The difference is astounding. When they are not interested, people learn 10 percent or less of what they're taught. But when we are interested, we remember more than 90 percent!
The secret of a great memory is ‘original awareness’. When people say they forgot something, they usually mean they never remembered it in the first place. Awareness means paying attention and exploring different aspects of the subject matter.
Memory works by association. In order for you to remember any new thing, it must be associated with something you already know or remember. As you learn and remember more, you give your memory more "hooks" to add further associations. By doing this, you will rapidly become a genius!
Ensure you are clear, confident and prepared to be very straightforward with people and communicate what you truly want.
In general people in a learning situation retain:
- 10% of what they read
- 20% of what they hear
- 30% of what they see
- 50% of what they see and hear
- 70% of what they talk over with others
- 80% of what they use and do in real life
- 95% of what they teach someone else
Teach your children well and you will learn and remember a great deal.
Walt Disney
During the last days of Walt Disney's life, right before he died, a man came in to see him. The man said, "Ok Walt, it's so terrible, you're not going to get to see Epcot and Disney World."
Walt looked at him and said, "Are you kidding me? If I didn't see it in my mind, you'll never see it in your experience."
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."- Albert Einstein
"Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance." - Ruth E. Renkel
