Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Sorry I took daddy

Sorry I took daddy - Federal Magistrate Tom Altobelli

A JUDGE has taken the extraordinary step of writing to two children involved in a custody dispute explaining why he gave sole custody to their mum even though he doesn't accept her claims their dad abused them.
Tom Altobelli
Federal Magistrate Tom Altobelli published his decision on the court's website, ordering the boy, 11, and his sister, 6, to live with their mum and the dad's contact to be restricted to letters and birthday cards. Source: Supplied
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DEAR X and Y, AFTER your mum and dad separated they could not agree about where you were to live. You were 10 and 6 at the time.
Federal Magistrate Tom Altobelli published his decision on the court's website, ordering the boy, 11, and his sister, 6, to live with their mum and the dad's contact to be restricted to letters and birthday cards.
The judge's letter, which is to be opened once the children turn 14, is a plea that the children renew contact with the father, explaining that their mother's claims he abused them are false.
"At the time I had to decide the case your mum believed in her heart that your dad hurt you," he has written.
"My job is to look at all the information, and listen very carefully to what everybody says, including the experts. I decided that you had not been hurt by your dad," Mr Altobelli wrote.
"Even after I told your mum what I decided, I think she still believed in her heart that your dad had hurt you. This just goes to show that sometimes words do not change a person's heart.
"I told you this was a hard, sad case to decide. I decided that even though your dad really wanted you to live with him, it was best that you lived with mum, even though this might mean moving away from where you lived at the time.
"I knew your mum would look after you really well. I decided not to make your mum let you see your dad, even though your dad wanted this very much. I thought it would make things harder for you if I had done this."
The mother, in her 30s, and father, in his 40s, began their relationship in 2001 before separating in 2009 after what the court described as an unhappy relationship.
The mother became convinced the father had sexually abused their daughter, a view she reached after her own mother had seen a clairvoyant who had predicted the abuse.
The mother was given sole custody because the court ruled she was the better parent.
"Despite the mother's grossly distorted lens through which she views the father and the events that bring this matter to court, she is a more than adequate parent," Mr Altobelli wrote.
"Indeed that parenting capacity will most likely increase with relocation. Despite the father's good intentions, optimism and courageous position in this case, I am far less satisfied about his capacity to parent these children on the facts of this case."
Slater & Gordon lawyer Steven Edward said it was the first time in 25 years in family law he had seen a magistrate write a personal letter to children involved in custody case.
"I suppose families are more complex," he said.

Federal Magistrate Tom Altobelli's letter to two children

  • by: Tom Altobelli
  • From: Herald Sun
  • June 07, 2012 12:00AM

DEAR X and Y, AFTER your mum and dad separated they could not agree about where you were to live. You were 10 and 6 at the time.
As a judge it was my job to make this decision. I had a lot of help from the lawyer who was representing you, and each of your parents, as well as an expert child psychiatrist.

Even with all of this help it was a hard, sad case to decide. This letter is to try to explain my decision to you, even though you probably wont read it for many years

Comments on this story

  • Rowdy of Australia Posted at 4:02 PM June 07, 2012
    It would seem the father has lost his children forever. At 14 the children will be angry that their mother did this to them. This appears to be a travesty that words can't explain. It would appear there are many victims in this decision.
  • Disgruntled Posted at 3:54 PM June 07, 2012
    How has the father received Justice by his decision? Writing a letter is just a sop to the Judge's conscience. The mother has won on every front despite the Judge knowing the father is innocent. Now CSA will step in and persecute the father for payments to the wife. When the children reach 14, the mother will just get the Court Order extended. Again the question must be asked, "How has the father received justice under the law?"
  • Bridge Posted at 3:38 PM June 07, 2012
    Perhaps more magistrates should take a leaf out of this magistrates book. The law is not always that black & white, there can be so many sides to one story. I hope the letter he wrote opens up a pathway for these children to their father. Its never too late to be in each others lives.://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/true-crime-scene/sorry-i-took-daddy-judge/story-fnat7dhc-1226386802260

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