Links for 2009-11-20 [del.icio.us]
4 hours ago
Friday, November 20, 2009
20% of Divorced Parents Want to Make Other Parent’s Contact with Child ‘as Unpleasant as Possible’
http://mensnewsdaily.com/glennsacks/2009/11/19/report-20-of-divorced-parents-want-to-make-other-parents-contact-with-child-as-unpleasant-as-possible/
Report: 20% of Divorced Parents Want to Make Other Parent’s Contact with Child ‘as Unpleasant as Possible’
Thursday, November 19, 2009
By Robert Franklin, Esq.
When parents are at loggerheads, there should be much more done to sustain the interests of the father and child. When a mother turns her child against the father, when a mother refuses to comply with a court order on contact, nothing is done because it is felt sanctions against her would not be in the interests of the child. But is the situation as it stands in that child’s interests? We pay only lip service to the rights of a child to have contact with a father and we need to do better.
This article is another one to address the findings of the Mishcon de Reya report on the impacts of divorce in the United Kingdom (The Times, 11/17/09). I discussed another article in the Telegraph in a previous piece, but this one adds information and some suggestions.
For example, the report found that more than one-third of children lose all contact with their fathers after divorce. It goes on to report just why that is.
But what makes keeping in touch so difficult?
One answer could be suggested by a finding of the Mishcon de Reya report — one in five divorcing spouses admitted to having the primary objective of making the experience as unpleasant as possible for his or her former partner.
Parenthetically, I wonder what all those people who deny the existence of parental alienation of children have to say about that. When 20% cite that very thing as their "primary objective" post-divorce, it's hard to figure how they can pretend parental alienation is a figment of some evil FRA's imagination. My guess is that we'll never know since they'll probably give that datum a pass.
And given that it's fathers, not mothers whom children are losing, and it's mothers, not fathers who get primary custody in 85% - 90% of cases, it's not hard to figure out who's doing most of the alienating.
But the article goes on to site some fairly commonsense things divorcing fathers and mothers can do to make things better. Unfortunately, many of those seem to assume some sort of residual goodwill between the exes. And if that existed, the problems children have stemming from divorce would probably be much fewer and less severe.
I suspect that there is a large percentage of parents who truly do their best to get along after they split and who mostly succeed. I also suspect that there is some percentage who will remain out to get the other regardless of everything. And I finally suspect that there are a lot of parents for whom counselling and mediation would be a great help. It's not that they'll feel much better about the other spouse, but they can learn to focus on the child's wellbeing and understand that, while he/she may want nothing to do with the other spouse, the child doesn't feel the same way.
Report: 20% of Divorced Parents Want to Make Other Parent’s Contact with Child ‘as Unpleasant as Possible’
Thursday, November 19, 2009
By Robert Franklin, Esq.
When parents are at loggerheads, there should be much more done to sustain the interests of the father and child. When a mother turns her child against the father, when a mother refuses to comply with a court order on contact, nothing is done because it is felt sanctions against her would not be in the interests of the child. But is the situation as it stands in that child’s interests? We pay only lip service to the rights of a child to have contact with a father and we need to do better.
This article is another one to address the findings of the Mishcon de Reya report on the impacts of divorce in the United Kingdom (The Times, 11/17/09). I discussed another article in the Telegraph in a previous piece, but this one adds information and some suggestions.
For example, the report found that more than one-third of children lose all contact with their fathers after divorce. It goes on to report just why that is.
But what makes keeping in touch so difficult?
One answer could be suggested by a finding of the Mishcon de Reya report — one in five divorcing spouses admitted to having the primary objective of making the experience as unpleasant as possible for his or her former partner.
Parenthetically, I wonder what all those people who deny the existence of parental alienation of children have to say about that. When 20% cite that very thing as their "primary objective" post-divorce, it's hard to figure how they can pretend parental alienation is a figment of some evil FRA's imagination. My guess is that we'll never know since they'll probably give that datum a pass.
And given that it's fathers, not mothers whom children are losing, and it's mothers, not fathers who get primary custody in 85% - 90% of cases, it's not hard to figure out who's doing most of the alienating.
But the article goes on to site some fairly commonsense things divorcing fathers and mothers can do to make things better. Unfortunately, many of those seem to assume some sort of residual goodwill between the exes. And if that existed, the problems children have stemming from divorce would probably be much fewer and less severe.
I suspect that there is a large percentage of parents who truly do their best to get along after they split and who mostly succeed. I also suspect that there is some percentage who will remain out to get the other regardless of everything. And I finally suspect that there are a lot of parents for whom counselling and mediation would be a great help. It's not that they'll feel much better about the other spouse, but they can learn to focus on the child's wellbeing and understand that, while he/she may want nothing to do with the other spouse, the child doesn't feel the same way.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Call for help for people in family court cases after suicides
Call for help for people in family court cases after suicides
Judge Boshier will not accept that his Court is gender bias and corrupt.Fact.I can supply detail to prove my point. I can supply evidence that a shows scum lawyers and sick psychologists from the unsavoury Family Court hounded my mother until she gave up and died even though a twisted Family Court judge said to me that my mum's request to be left out of any further proceedings would be granted. I have thought of suicide many times as no one in the Family Court listens to a father. RIP Mum. I WILL get even Boshier!!
Judge Boshier will not accept that his Court is gender bias and corrupt.Fact.I can supply detail to prove my point. I can supply evidence that a shows scum lawyers and sick psychologists from the unsavoury Family Court hounded my mother until she gave up and died even though a twisted Family Court judge said to me that my mum's request to be left out of any further proceedings would be granted. I have thought of suicide many times as no one in the Family Court listens to a father. RIP Mum. I WILL get even Boshier!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Distress and parenting
My two daughters were brainwashed by a vengeful maternal family and assisted by a vindictive and totally corrupt justice system. The damage to my family has been horrific. RIP mum hounded to death by Family Court lawyers and psychologists who have leeched blood money from the major depressive episode since 2001! PAS is a real killer and extremely detrimental to the heartbroken forced client of the sinister Family Court. The gravy train in a sick system all earn a living from the most important Family Court file number! Scum of the earth enjoy PAS cases.
http://www.timesheraldonline.com/opinion/ci_13813822
Distress and parenting
Published By Times Herald
Posted: 11/18/2009 01:30:32 AM PST
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a collection of behaviors where one parent turns a child against the other parent. When a parent deprives a child of a healthy relationship with its other parent, the child may experience chronic psychological distress leading to the deterioration of the parental relationship. Since this distress can affect physical and mental health, health care professionals must not overlook the possibility that the child has been subjected to child abuse by the custodial parent.
Parental alienation often includes false accusations of child neglect, child maltreatment, and child sexual abuse. It also includes false accusations of domestic violence and blocking or inhibiting contact with a child by the offending parent. Those who commit parental alienation often threaten their child (or children) to fear or reject the other parent.
I have received a report that 50 mental health experts from 10 nations are a part of a larger effort to add parental alienation to the 2012 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association.
http://www.timesheraldonline.com/opinion/ci_13813822
Distress and parenting
Published By Times Herald
Posted: 11/18/2009 01:30:32 AM PST
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a collection of behaviors where one parent turns a child against the other parent. When a parent deprives a child of a healthy relationship with its other parent, the child may experience chronic psychological distress leading to the deterioration of the parental relationship. Since this distress can affect physical and mental health, health care professionals must not overlook the possibility that the child has been subjected to child abuse by the custodial parent.
Parental alienation often includes false accusations of child neglect, child maltreatment, and child sexual abuse. It also includes false accusations of domestic violence and blocking or inhibiting contact with a child by the offending parent. Those who commit parental alienation often threaten their child (or children) to fear or reject the other parent.
I have received a report that 50 mental health experts from 10 nations are a part of a larger effort to add parental alienation to the 2012 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Third of family break-up children lose contact with fathers in ‘failing’ court system, poll
The New Zealand Family Court has destroyed my children. I will get EVEN !!
Third of family break-up children lose contact with fathers in ‘failing’ court system, poll
Tens of thousands of children a year are losing contact with their fathers because of “failing” family court system and disastrous custody arrangements, a study has found
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/divorce/6575997/Third-of-family-break-up-children-lose-contact-with-fathers-in-failing-court-system-poll.html
Iain Duncan Smith: Iain Duncan Smith attacks Ken Clarke over marriage tax breaks
Iain Duncan Smith said the family court system was 'a mess' with fathers too often shut out.
One in three children whose parents separated or divorced over the last 20 years disclosed that they had lost contact permanently with their father.
Almost a tenth of children from broken families said the acrimonious process had left them feeling suicidal while others later sought solace in drink, drugs or crime.
They complained of feeling “isolated” and “used” while parents admitted having used children as “bargaining tools” against each other.
Lawyers said the study showed that the court system itself was making family break-up more acrimonious with children used as "pawns".
They warned that so-called “no fault” divorces were encouraging warring parents to channel their “bloodletting” into disputes over contact.
Opposition politicians said the poll presented an alarming picture of a system “in a mess” which was all too often leaving fathers “shut out”.
The poll of 4,000 parents and children was carried out to provide a snapshot of the workings of the family court system exactly 20 years after the implementation of the landmark 1989 Children Act.
It found that a third of children from broken families had been tempted by drink or drugs while as many as 10 per cent had later become involved in crime.
A quarter of the children said that they had been asked to lie to one parent by the other and 15 per cent said they had even been called on to “spy” for their mother or father.
Meanwhile half of parents polled admitted deliberately drawing out the legal process for maximum benefit and more than two thirds conceded that they had used their children as “bargaining tools”.
About 250,000 couples, both married and non-married, separate every year affecting 350,000 kids, according to the Department for Children Schools and Families.
“The adversarial nature of the system invites people to come and use the courts system as a punch up and the children get used as pawns," said Sandra Davis, head of family law at Mishcon de Reya, for whom the poll was conducted.
“It polarises parents and it puts children in the middle of the antagonism.
“Some fathers back off because it is too painful to carry on litigating, they give up.”
Tim Loughton, the Tory Shadow children’s minister, said: “This is alarming evidence of the very detrimental impact it is having on the welfare of the children themselves.”
“Clearly, the court system is failing and is positively encouraging conflict - and continuing conflict.”
Iain Duncan Smith, the former Conservative leader and founder of the Centre for Social Justice, warned that young people were bearing the scars of a divorce “boom” and a resulting lack of father figures.
“It is a mess, it needs a complete overhaul," he said. "It is an organisation locked in secrecy and deeply unhelpful to the parents and the children and all too often able to exacerbate the problems that they are about to face.”
David Laws, the Liberal Democrat children’s spokesman, added: “In too many cases the children become caught up in the crossfire between two warring parties in a system which sometimes encourages the parents to take entrenched positions.”
Miss Davis called for compulsory mediation for parents hoping to use the divorce courts rather than the current ”tick box” exercise for those seeking legal aid.
But a spokesman for the Children’s Society said that compulsion “goes against everything we have learned from many, many years of experience”.
Delyth Morgan, the children’s minister, added: “Divorce and separation can have a devastating impact on children caught in the middle.
“But this survey, looking as far back as 20 years ago, simply doesn’t reflect what support is available for families now … we have acted to give families comprehensive counselling, practical and legal support.”
Third of family break-up children lose contact with fathers in ‘failing’ court system, poll
Tens of thousands of children a year are losing contact with their fathers because of “failing” family court system and disastrous custody arrangements, a study has found
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/divorce/6575997/Third-of-family-break-up-children-lose-contact-with-fathers-in-failing-court-system-poll.html
Iain Duncan Smith: Iain Duncan Smith attacks Ken Clarke over marriage tax breaks
Iain Duncan Smith said the family court system was 'a mess' with fathers too often shut out.
One in three children whose parents separated or divorced over the last 20 years disclosed that they had lost contact permanently with their father.
Almost a tenth of children from broken families said the acrimonious process had left them feeling suicidal while others later sought solace in drink, drugs or crime.
They complained of feeling “isolated” and “used” while parents admitted having used children as “bargaining tools” against each other.
Lawyers said the study showed that the court system itself was making family break-up more acrimonious with children used as "pawns".
They warned that so-called “no fault” divorces were encouraging warring parents to channel their “bloodletting” into disputes over contact.
Opposition politicians said the poll presented an alarming picture of a system “in a mess” which was all too often leaving fathers “shut out”.
The poll of 4,000 parents and children was carried out to provide a snapshot of the workings of the family court system exactly 20 years after the implementation of the landmark 1989 Children Act.
It found that a third of children from broken families had been tempted by drink or drugs while as many as 10 per cent had later become involved in crime.
A quarter of the children said that they had been asked to lie to one parent by the other and 15 per cent said they had even been called on to “spy” for their mother or father.
Meanwhile half of parents polled admitted deliberately drawing out the legal process for maximum benefit and more than two thirds conceded that they had used their children as “bargaining tools”.
About 250,000 couples, both married and non-married, separate every year affecting 350,000 kids, according to the Department for Children Schools and Families.
“The adversarial nature of the system invites people to come and use the courts system as a punch up and the children get used as pawns," said Sandra Davis, head of family law at Mishcon de Reya, for whom the poll was conducted.
“It polarises parents and it puts children in the middle of the antagonism.
“Some fathers back off because it is too painful to carry on litigating, they give up.”
Tim Loughton, the Tory Shadow children’s minister, said: “This is alarming evidence of the very detrimental impact it is having on the welfare of the children themselves.”
“Clearly, the court system is failing and is positively encouraging conflict - and continuing conflict.”
Iain Duncan Smith, the former Conservative leader and founder of the Centre for Social Justice, warned that young people were bearing the scars of a divorce “boom” and a resulting lack of father figures.
“It is a mess, it needs a complete overhaul," he said. "It is an organisation locked in secrecy and deeply unhelpful to the parents and the children and all too often able to exacerbate the problems that they are about to face.”
David Laws, the Liberal Democrat children’s spokesman, added: “In too many cases the children become caught up in the crossfire between two warring parties in a system which sometimes encourages the parents to take entrenched positions.”
Miss Davis called for compulsory mediation for parents hoping to use the divorce courts rather than the current ”tick box” exercise for those seeking legal aid.
But a spokesman for the Children’s Society said that compulsion “goes against everything we have learned from many, many years of experience”.
Delyth Morgan, the children’s minister, added: “Divorce and separation can have a devastating impact on children caught in the middle.
“But this survey, looking as far back as 20 years ago, simply doesn’t reflect what support is available for families now … we have acted to give families comprehensive counselling, practical and legal support.”
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Hypocrisy of the UK Government.
Jimmy says "The Prime Minister is to apologise for forced deporting of children fr0m 1930 to 1970. But they are still at it. Social services are still snatching children and telling them falsely that their families do not want them and also telling grandparents and extended family that the children do not want to see them either. (Parental Alienation) This confuses and demoralises children into accepting forced adoption to complete strangers. An excellent cost cutting business plan! But children are not commodities.
Extract from the ‘Social Work Action Magazine’ Social work conference.
Quote “Social workers said they did not become SW so that they could be ‘case managers or have to make decisions based on money rather on what was needed” End Quote.
He will combine it with an apology to the 7,000 child migrants from Britain who still lives in Australia.
As they were compulsorily shipped out of Britain, many of the children were told - wrongly - their parents were dead, and that a more abundant life awaited them.
Many parents did not know their children, aged as young as three had been sent to Australia. Child care agencies (guess who they are) worked with the government to send disadvantaged children to a rosy future and supply what was deemed "good white stock" to a former colony.
Full story. http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/1/hi/uk/8361025.stm
Extract from the ‘Social Work Action Magazine’ Social work conference.
Quote “Social workers said they did not become SW so that they could be ‘case managers or have to make decisions based on money rather on what was needed” End Quote.
He will combine it with an apology to the 7,000 child migrants from Britain who still lives in Australia.
As they were compulsorily shipped out of Britain, many of the children were told - wrongly - their parents were dead, and that a more abundant life awaited them.
Many parents did not know their children, aged as young as three had been sent to Australia. Child care agencies (guess who they are) worked with the government to send disadvantaged children to a rosy future and supply what was deemed "good white stock" to a former colony.
Full story. http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/1/hi/uk/8361025.stm
Saturday, November 14, 2009
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